XBiz Awards & Upcoming Conferences

Remember when I shot that incredible porn with Pink and White Productions called “Occupied” about a protestor from the Occupy movement who has a romantic interlude with a cop? Well, it won 2014 Feminist Release Of The Year from the XBiz Awards! What a way to start the year! As my usual pedantic self, I rambled on about why I love Crash Pad and why this win is important within the context of porn production over at their website. You can tell it was in post-production for awhile just from the length of my hair which is now mucchhh longer. It was obviously worth the wait!


This film was an incredible shoot, one of my all time best performances, and a marker of incredible growth for me. I got take on some material that was close to my heart and play a character who was close to me and far, far, far from the image of a glamorous porn star. It was fantastic! When I was making this film, I was excited to do something hardcore that played off the tensions I was seeing and experiencing in Oakland. I wasn’t thinking about feminism so much as I was thinking very broadly about power and my relationship to it. It was great to take on a project where women occupying the traditionally masculine roles of protestor and cop weren’t treated as the punchline or end game. In your standard ‘lesbian’ fare, we wouldn’t be costumed anywhere near authentically. Usually those scenes are about ‘how cute she looks when she’s pretending to be in a position of that much power” which has its own appeal, trust, but gets old when that’s all you’re ever allowed to perform or see. There’s a lot of rich material to play from, we don’t have to get trapped in the same angle.

All my love to the Pink&White crew for always putting together a welcoming set, mad technical skills, a hot vibe, and great working conditions. I also want to encourage you to check out what Pink and White is up to because they’re going to keep getting bigger and better. They’re making waves in the world. I also want to say that I’m honored to have been in this category with other great directors and producers who are also doing cool things in porn. XOXOXO!


Shibari Dojo Vienna

Shibari Dojo Vienna


I’ve also been accepted as a speaker for the 2014 Feminist Porn Conference in Toronto, April 5-6. I’ll be talking about the advent of moving picture pornography. We think of feminist-indie-queer porn as being an alternative to mainstream porn, but how did those norms become established and just how alternative is alternative porn anyway? This year I didn’t submit any projects for the awards because 2013 was the year I felt properly christened into my name “Mayhem.” I’m happy to come in and be the nerd I am and share some of the smut from great-grandma and grandpa’s attic.

You can also come see me at Theorizing The Web 2014 in Brooklyn, April 25-26. This conference is pay-what-you-can so please come out to see some fantastic presentations out in Brooklyn. I’m really happy to be on the lineup because this conference went out of its way to solicit presentations from sex workers and is being accessible in every way it can. It’s going to be hosted in a Brooklyn warehouse and I am always SO THRILLED when I get to speak in non-conventional environments.


I’m interested in other speaking opportunities so please let me know if I should send an abstract to YOUR favorite conference. Let people know you want to see MAYHEM on the stage. I love challenging topics and I want to come to your local anarchist info shop, sex toy boutique, avante garde porn screening, death salon, sci fi panel, or dungeon discussion. If you get enough people together in your living room and feed me vegan eats, I’ll even come talk in your living room. True fact.

Shibari Dojo Vienna

Shibari Dojo Vienna



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Farewell, 2013

2013 was the name of the truck that hit and dragged me down a road. We’re not going to dwell on the downsides. We’re going to focus on the good parts because it’s New Year’s Eve and regardless of what we tweet or experience or capture on our iPhones, time moves forward. This too shall pass, whatever it is.

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Radical Sex Communities As Cult Institutions


When it comes to sex and sexuality, the word ‘community’ is very popular. For example, I considered myself a part of the BDSM community for a very long time because it provided a place, structure, and group of people with whom I could seek revelatory experiences with sex. Over time I’ve come to question the word ‘community’ and how it’s used. It’s often disputed in an all or nothing way which I think fails to capture the situation. Human behavior is not black and white. It never has been, it never will be. There are a confluence of factors that go into the way that people lead their lives and it is not my place to say that someone will or will not experience a sense of community, nor can I speak to the impetus that brought them there. Some people will come and go, others will come and go and come back again.

I’ve been doing an extensive study of religion lately and a lot of it has been very illuminating for the structure of sex communities. Sex is a state of altered consciousness and as such, it has a lot in common with religious communities. Emile Durkheim, for instance, speaks of religion as a “manifestation of social solidarity and collective beliefs.” In their estimation, members of a society create sacred objects, rituals, beliefs, and special symbols to integrate their culture. Even this can be too simple because there is so much diversity in cognitive and phenomenal displayed in any given religious experience.

Some define religion as something that necessitates communion with the supernatural, others do not. The reliance of symbol and rite as a means to organize abstract concepts in terms of concrete symbols to make speculation possible is a key component but may not always be seen. Again, the diversity of religion and its expression makes a definition hard to pin down. There are the ideas and beliefs we hold deep in our hearts and there are our ways of relating them to others around us. As I continued reading, I realized that in many ways the BDSM subculture is very much a ‘religious institution’ by the more broad definitions that highlight their social and cultural implications. This is no surprise: sexuality and sexual rites have been parts of religion since ancient ages. I think also of how common it is to hear someone describe good sex as, “seeing God” whether or not they were believers in an extra-corporeal entity.

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Filed under BDSM theory, community, fetish

Sex Work & Serenity

Right off the bat, I’m going to say that I am not a member of the Joss Whedon fan club.

“But he’s soooooo feminist and has complex female characters and he totally wrote a really positive sex worker character! Come on, you have to love Firefly.”

Well, no, actually, I don’t. You know what I would love? Diversity in the production and leadership of the entertainment industry. It’s well and good that Joss Whedon has a hard on for sexy looking ladies who can enact violence but you’re not a feminist just because you wrote a female character who can handle a sword. The Whedon canon is problematic on many levels but Whedon himself gets lots and lots of cookies for being a good liberal. When it comes to Firefly, you can’t ignore the omnipresent racism. I don’t hate Joss Whedon but I’m really not a fan of his work. He may have good intentions but they amount to sophomoric manifestations.

I’m not saying this as though I’ve got it all down myself. As I look back on my own body of work, I’m horrified by the ways that white supremacy has informed it. It’s embarrassing to look back on things I’ve written or said and I have very much needed some of the stern kicks to the ass I’ve gotten on my path to becoming a better writer, activist, and person.

No, I don’t care for Buffy. I’m sorry if I have disappointed my readership. I don’t really care for Firefly either but I did watch the entire (short) series. I am both a sex worker and something of a nerd and as such I get a lot of people who make the assumption that I genuinely must love (or, perhaps, be grateful for) the cult television show Firefly because it has an esteemed character whose profession is sex work. In many ways, the character Inara Serra has helped people re-conceive some of their notions of sex work and I do have friends and colleagues who enjoy the show and have a lot of good things to say about it.

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All About Latex Allergies

The other day I was at the dentist when I started to notice that my lips were beginning to itch and my nostrils were burning. I took a deep breath and the smell of rubber was unmistakeable. I raised my hand to get my doctor’s attention and asked, “Are those gloves latex?” He paused briefly and looked at the chart remarking, “Oh, you did check the latex allergy box.”

I was more than a little annoyed and my clinic professional voice came out, “It really is fundamental that you consult a patient’s chart before beginning any procedure.” He issued a rather disturbing response:

“Well, most people aren’t *that* allergic.”

That was the wrong thing for any medical professional to say. But why is that?


No more gas masks for me! An early modeling shot from 2008, photo by Sleek Images

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50 Things I’ve Been Meaning To Say About Sex


        1. There is no easy set of steps for giving or receiving pleasure.
        2. There is no finish line.
        3. Your triumphs and your traumas will impact your sexuality.
        4. Sex itself can be a source of triumph and trauma.
        5. Hydration really does make a difference.
        6. There will be plot twists.
        7. Your sexual preferences may not match your needs or opportunities for pleasure.
        8. Sometimes the most skillful application of touch won’t do what a single caress or glance from someone you are centered upon can do.
        9. It’s more than active or passive. You can be actively-passive and passively-active in sex.
        10. You may summon something you weren’t prepared to receive.
        11. You will experience cognitive dissonance.
        12. You are more beautiful than you know.
        13. You are not entitled to your partner’s sexual backstory. It’s their choice to share.
        14. It’s fucked up to make someone feel bad about their body and how it works.
        15. Take time to breathe.
        16. Sometimes you will be terrified.
        17. Humans have sex for reasons that include but are not limited to pleasure or procreation.
        18. Be prepared for fluids.
        19. You will shed many sexual skins over your lifetime.
        20. Blood sugar really makes a difference.
        21. Using sex as a weapon is when you unilaterally commandeer someone’s body for your use, not when you are soliciting sexual attraction.
        22. Feeling fascinated or attracted to someone does not entitle you to their time and attention.
        23. Things may not meet expectations.
        24. Orgasms are just one piece.
        25. No one else is an authority on your sexuality.blackandwhite
        26. Sometimes you will be confused.
        27. Sometimes you will find ecstasy in the orgiastic, sometimes in the ascetic.
        28. The power of sex to hurt and to heal demands our respect.
        29. Sex is more than what we will ever say about it.
        30. There is no default state of sexual consciousness.
        31. You will find times when words will utterly fail you.
        32. What your body does may not be congruous with your desire.
        33. Context is key.
        34. Sex can be both a source of empowerment and dis-empowerment.
        35. The experience of another may offer wisdom or perspective but it might not be applicable to your life.
        36. An orgasm does not always mean pleasure.
        37. You may run into people who treat you as an inferior version of their projection of you.
        38. There are many different motivations to have sex.
        39. Implemental sex is neither greater nor lesser than non-implemental sex.
        40. The hottest thing in the world might not turn you on anymore.
        41. The value placed upon any given sex act or object is relational rather than intrinsic.
        42. Random causes should not be confused with essential facts.
        43. Your props of sexual summoning will change over time.
        44. Sexual union on non-physical planes exists.
        45. No element of sex is compulsory.
        46. Consciously changing your breathing patterns will change your experience of sex.
        47. Sex can be an instrument of knowing.
        48. Sexual definitions will fail to contain their referents.
        49. There’s really no such thing as an expert on sex.
        50. I don’t endorse everything I’ve said or thought about sex, not even this list.


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Guest Post: 5 Things That

From the 1st Godless Perverts Night!

From the 1st Godless Perverts Night! Greta is in the middle.

Note from Maggie: I’m proud to introduce Greta Christina who has been a feisty writer and activist for both sex and atheism. I lean more towards humanism these days as the skeptic and atheist realms seem to forget to “kick up” to the establishment. Greta is a hard working writer who is adept at handling tricky subjects and is a hell of a lot of fun to read. I love her non-fiction rage but I’m also glad she penned a collection of naughty fiction that will make you laugh and cum. She has been doing a blog tour to promote this work and you can check out her other stops by visiting her blog. Now note: I pretty much never do commercial endorsements here. Greta writes a mean book, she’s prolific, and she’s powerful. This is one of the people I’ve been following for awhile who has influenced what and how I write. Definitely check this out along with her (many) other books and amazing blog. Without further ago, here’s Greta!

5 Things That Piss Off This Godless Pervert

With all the time that one could spend writing fucked-up kinky porn and having deviant sex, how does one find the energy to rant against religion?

A quick introduction: Hi. I’m Greta Christina. I’ve been a sex writer since 1989, and an atheist writer since 2005. I’m co-organizer and co-host of the Godless Perverts Story Hour and the Godless Perverts Social Club in San Francisco (where else?). I’m the author of a new e-book of smutty perverted pornography — excuse me, erotic fiction! — titled “Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More” (available as an ebook on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords; audiobook and print editions coming soon). I’m also the author of the bestselling atheist rant, “Why Are You Atheists So Angry? 99 Things That Piss Off the Godless” (available in print, audiobook, and ebook on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords).

And for my guest post on Maggie Mayhem’s blog, she’s asked me to combine these two wheelhouses into one grand mega-wheelhouse (wheelmansion? Wheelcastle?). So for your dining pleasure today, I bring you: 5 Things That Piss Off This Godless Pervert.

1. The “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” religious hypocrisy that tells gay people to suppress and deny the sexuality they were undeniably born with… but that tells trans people that they have to accept the genitals and gender they were born with, and that they mustn’t tinker with God’s handiwork. You don’t get to have it both ways, people! Either God created us exactly the way he wants us, and wants us to accept it and submit to it… or he created us as a sort of guessing game, and wants us to shape ourselves into the people he intended us to be, giving us only a vague and self-contradictory set of arcane clues as a road map. (Of course, there is a third and far more plausible option… which is that God doesn’t exist, and our sexualities and genders come from a complex set of biological and social factors, and that as long as they don’t harm anyone, they’re nobody else’s freaking business. Sort of comforting when you think about it. And it has the added virtue of almost certainly being true.)

2. The fact that religiously-based shame, fear, and hatred of sexuality has helped keep sex so stigmatized… which means that good writers, photographers, filmmakers, actors, and other artists often stay away from the subject of sex, for fear or being trivialized at best and shunned at worst… which means that there’s not nearly enough good porn for me to enjoy. (Many thanks to the Mayhems for being an exception!)

3. The insidious way that religion uses sexual guilt to perpetuate itself. It’s like a doctor who poisons his patients, so he can keep treating them and keep them coming back. Religion gives you the disease — sexual guilt. It offers you the cure — the promise of forgiveness and absolution, as long as you stay in your religion and follow its rules. But the disease doesn’t ever go away. You still have the sexual desires you started the cycle with. So you have to keep coming back to religion… to make yourself feel better about the sexual desires that you wouldn’t feel guilty about in the first place if it weren’t for religion. I almost admire the Machiavellian craftiness of it all. Or I would, if it weren’t so fucked-up. (Hat tip to Darrel Ray, author of The God Virus: How Religion Infects Our Lives and Culture and Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality, for this insight.)

4. The hissy-fit that got thrown — by people who identify as sex-positive — when the Godless Perverts Story Hour gave away religiously-themed sex toys as door prizes — the Baby Jesus Buttplug,the Jackhammer Jesus dildo with a cruficix molded onto it in relief. I mean… really, people? With all the shit that religion has thrown at sexual deviants (heck, for that matter, at sexual non-deviants), blasphemous sex toys is what gets up your nose? With all the ways that religion has trampled on sex, for centuries, you’re worried that the Baby Jesus Buttplug might hurt some poor believer’s feelings?

5. Female genital mutilation; male genital mutilation; inaccurate and harmful “abstinence-only” sex education; the war on women and the steady rollback of reproductive rights; the rape of children by priests; the institutional protection of child-raping priests by the Catholic Church, for decades; girls in fundamentalist polygamous Mormon cults being married against their will, at ages as young as thirteen; girls in Islamic theocracies being married against their will, at ages as young as nine; women in Islamic theocracies being beaten, imprisoned, or executed for having sex outside marriage; female rape victims in Islamic theocracies being executed for the crime of adultery; the Magdalene laundries operated for decades in Ireland by the Catholic Church, which were essentially forced labor camps for sexually “immoral” women; the decree from the Dalai Lama that sex can only provide short-term pleasure and in the long term is inherently destructive; the decree from the Dalai Lama that all forms of sexuality other than penis-in-vagina intercourse are banned by Buddhist teachings; the decree from the Dalai Lama that gay sex is “wrong,” “unwholesome,” a “bad action,” “vices,” “not acceptable from a Buddhist point of view,” and “contrary to Buddhist ethics”; queer children being taught to hate and fear their queerness; female children being taught to hate and fear their femaleness; a gynecology conference in Jerusalem refusing to allow women to speak because of pressure from ultra-Orthodox Jewish leaders; the ultra-Orthodox “modesty patrols” in Jerusalem that harass, terrorize, spit on, and physically assault women and girls who don’t adhere to their modesty standards; the Christian teaching that lusting in your heart is every bit as sinful as actual physical adultery — a thought-crime that shames people for physical desires that are as deeply hard-wired by evolution as hunger or the need to sleep; the Catholic and Mormon churches teaming up to keep same-sex marriage illegal; gay teenagers getting kicked out of their homes by their Mormon families (40% of all homeless teenagers in Salt Lake City are gay); Quiverfull mothers being browbeaten into having as many babies as their bodies will produce; people in Africa and South America dying of AIDS because the Catholic Church convinced them that using condoms makes Baby Jesus cry…

… all perpetrated, rationalized, and perpetuated through the belief that God wants it this way. All perpetrated, rationalized, and perpetuated by people who have absolutely no good reason to think that they know what their god wants, any more than any of the billions of other people who happen to believe in a different god. All perpetrated, rationalized, and perpetuated using religion — which, because of its fundamental unverifiability and lack of any reality check, makes it uniquely armored against the criticism, questioning, self-correction, or anything else that might stop it from spinning into extreme absurdity, extreme denial of reality… and extreme, grotesque immorality.

So yeah. This godless pervert is a little pissed off.

On the other hand, we have porn. So there’s that.

Bending cover jpg 300

“Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More” is available as an ebook on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords. Audiobook and print editions are coming soon.


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