Hanging out at Bondage-A-Go-Go before all of my clothes have come off. Photo by the Baggaratzi.
The BDSM Sexpert has posted a list of things a kinkster should keep by their bedside and that got me thinking about what I keep in arm’s reach. I can’t keep all of my toys right at my bedside, but I do have a giant tupperware box under my bed that has my FUT’s (Frequently Used Toys) and other supplies. If you come over to my house for a sleep over, here’s what you might find:
- Splooge wipes because I tend to get phenomenally wet and whenever there is dried cum in my hair it makes for the biggest tangles and knots in the world.
- Cliff Bars for those times when you burned more calories than a workout at the gym (“23 positions in a one night stand…”)
- Bottled Water because it can be a little tricky to walk to the kitchen if you’re all tied up or completely zonked. All of the sudden my little apartment seems to be as big as Yellowstone.
- Zip Ties because they work in a pinch. I don’t use them for direct bondage, but there are times when you need to latch some cuffs together or something like that.
- Paramedic Sheers because if you don’t have them, Jay Wiseman appears at the edge of your bed and scolds you.
- Condoms in every size, shape, texture, and color Lucky me, I have an entire filing cabinet at work filled with condoms. I was pretty much paid in condoms for years and I forget how expensive they can be at the store. I have latex, polyurethane, and polyisoprene. Some folks have allergies, some folks are bigger, some folks are smaller. No one has an excuse not to wear one in my bed. It’s like putting on a seatbelt for me.
- Lube in water and silicone varieties.
- Batteries in all sizes because nothing sucks more than a dead vibe at the edge of an orgasm.
- Dark Chocolate I like to feed people treats.
- Vitamin E Oil Not for lube, but for sore muscles and bruises.
- Gags The neighborhood association doesn’t appreciate some of the noise known to exit my apartment. Oooops….
- Hair Brush I’m not exaggerating when I mention my tangles. I have baby fine hair that I dye regularly to maintain a raven color. I don’t get adorable bed hair, I get dreadlocks. It’s really, really bad.
- Nail Clippers For my forgetful friends interested in putting fingers in places that don’t really appreciate internal tears. Yipes!
- Latex/Nitrile Gloves Have I mentioned yet that fisting is lots of fun?
- Hitachi which should not only be by your bedside, but also in your glove compartment, earthquake kit, kitchen cabinets, and travel bag. When will they start selling these in Costco sized packs?
- Spritz Bottle for someone hot and sweaty or my curious cats which have been known to climb on top of people whether or not they are thrusting into me. They have stopped responding to loud noises because they hear them an awful lot.
- A Book of Erotica for some fun reading out loud while cuddling. Words and books make me happy. Sometimes I don’t want to process the scene. I want to gear up for another one!
Maybe one day I will get to visit – the bedroom that is…
I should have added that there is a “take a number” counter on the outside of my door, lol.
I love this list!
i can’t stop laughing at the thought of Jay Wiseman standing at the end of my bed, shaking his finger. but Mr. Wiseman, sir, i have my safety shears right here!