The Training of O

I’ve watched a lot of porn over the years. Sometimes as a review, sometimes for fun, and once even at a major conference in San Diego for the intent of analysis and debate over racial issues in queer porn. I think it’s a fascinating thing to study and I wish to present an analysis of Kink.Com’s “The Training of O” as the most intellectual porn being produced right now.

The logo itself is referencing many days. The first of which is the reference to the novel “The Story of O” by Pauline Reage. In this tail, “O” lives in a place called Roissy where she is a slave in a large structure of hierarchy from the Masters and Mistresses to the servants to her fellow slaves. She is lavishly adorned and stripped, used as a sexual plaything, and her own psyche is broken down until she has a sense of only belonging to one person though many my make use of her body. “O” has been criticized, but I found her to be unique and very aptly named. Is “O” an origin or an omega? Is she an opening or an endless cycle?

Moving on the some of the visual imagery of the logo, the “O” is shattered into pieces. The notion of the 4 days of slave training is to break someone down, certainly, but also to build them up. When one is trained, the bad habits are taken away and information and skills are instilled so that they can be recalled instantly even under intense pressure. Someone is made into something that provides a needed service.

We’ve all been trained, one way or another. Behavior modification is part of our lives from the time we’re an infant until the day we die. We’re all part of a hierarchy. We all answer to someone. Our social training can lead to flush across our face when we feel ashamed of something. Our skill training can make us an effective responder in a crisis. Training, when done well, is designed to supersede our emotions.

Training has definitely evolved over time, but some things remain the same. A girl begins with a name, her name, dressed comfortably. She consents to the activities that will ensue while also mentioning, on camera, what her limitations are. The interview, while once long and exhaustive has been reduced greatly. While some may prefer this, I miss the long list of questions of camera. Aural sex is one of my favorite things and it was hot to watch someone like James cooly and confidently ask questions like, “Have you ever had anonymous sex? How many times have you been fisted? What is the dirtiest thing you ever said during sex?” turns me on. I liked the process of the interview and the rules negotiation. In the newer format, the shoot goes off with a bang which is clearly a preference by the members. It is no longer a question of whether or not a model can maintain certain rules, it is now a fact: there are house rules and they begin immediately. They are simple rules, eyeline, address, and deportment. They are so simple they are easy to forget, especially under duress.

There are questions that remain firmly in place, the first of which being the traditional, “Why are you here?” In a dungeon, that question is traditionally answered, “to please you.” On the set of Training it is answered, “to be[come] a [better] slave.” Both of these answers are absolute bullshit, by the way. Either they are a flat out lie or they are the result of an underdeveloped idea. One objective that Training appears to have is to produce an individual who can answer that question fully. There are other questions along the way that can help inform this process.

“What are your fears?”

This is a great question and one that I would have great difficult answering because it comes with unspoken conditions. The full question is something more along the lines of, “What fears are you willing to admit on camera and confront that are appropriate for this setting?” We all have fears. Phobias tend to be more arousing. It’s hot to watch someone with claustrophobia put their head into a small locked box. They shake, they cry, but they are willing to put themselves through that process to demonstrate their strength.

It’s also a bit of a trap (isn’t there always a trap?) because if you can’t isolate three good candidates quickly than you run the risk of appearing haughty and fearless which we all know isn’t true. This question requires a rapid risk analysis because what you say can and will be used against you.

It also needs to be a tangible and pointed fear. While tricks of psychoanalysis are used, the Training is not three years of therapy condensed into 4 days in between orgasms. “Dying alone and unloved,” isn’t a good answer because it’s huge and vague. “Being eaten by a crocodile,” is also unsuitable. To answer this question well requires some prior introspection. Although it isn’t a surprise question for anyone who has studied the website, it sure seems to take people off guard.

At the same time, I have no idea how I would answer this question at all. If I’m ever on that website, I can only hope that I’m not at an intense station when they ask because I would probably be stuck there for a very long time over thinking the situation. Much safer to contemplate this whole notion from the safety of my computer.

“What are three of your strengths?”

This is a typical interview question, but again, it isn’t all-encompassing. What are three things that you can offer as a sexual submissive that you are willing to have assessed? What are three things you take pride in doing that you are willing to have scrutinized? Where do you believe you have an unshakeable confidence? Oddly enough, most people have a harder time naming something really positive about themselves. Being naked and numbered might have something to do with that.

“What are three of your weaknesses?”

This is an interesting segment because I know what my first answer would be, but I have no idea how it would actually play out in practice. I absolutely suck at having orgasms. This wasn’t always the case, but long story short I am physiologically different now than I was in June of last year and this has changed my sexual response. I love sex, I get incredibly wet, but unless every single little detail is absolutely perfect I am not going to cum.

It’s funny how my weakness ties into a fear. My orgasmic cycle feels like more of a liability for me than a benefit. For many of the girls, their reward is an orgasm. This is not the case for me. Nothing could be more of a punishment than being told that an action will not stop until I cum because I’m afraid of having to make the choice about whether or not to fake it. It’s an area where I literally cannot give up control to another person if their objective is to give me an orgasm. You can, however, easily make me wet, insatiable, and endlessly frustrated. I know what blue balls are, boys, and you have my deepest sympathies.

“How should you be punished?”

This is such a sadistic question. It reminds me of when a teacher would have us grade our own essays. The vast majority of us be far harder on ourselves than anyone else ever would. There was always that one person who wouldn’t even waste a second before putting “A+” on the top of their paper and scampering off without a second thought. What is one thing you hate so much that it is a motivation factor to work through something else you find unsavory? It’s a very submissive act to answer this question honestly. Add on the fact that often times the slaves in training are also required to beg for their punishment sweetly. It’s erotic coercion. Humility.

“How should you be rewarded?”

In the workplace, most studies have shown that women make less per hour than their male counterparts. When employers are asked about this, their response is that women are less likely to request a raise. Given that Training is about female submission, I cannot ignore this piece of information when looking at this question. Those who cannot ask for what they want rarely receive it. I see this scenario played out time and time again on the site. More often than not, it is James or Maestro who suggests taking a break even though the model is absolutely sobbing. While I have some very sharp departures from mainstream feminist thought, I agree that as a whole women are taught that it is their role to please others. It is a noble woman that suffers stoicly and a bitch that demands what she wants and gets it.

There is also the element of a physical activity that Training utilizes. Whether this is scrubbing and cleaning, running laps, carrying rocks, or another thankless task it is absolutely layered. It has a universal quality to it. In almost every single hierarchy among human beings on earth, stature can be determined by proximity to dirt. The rich live in fancy estates, the poor in tenements. I think of the caste system still in place in India in which the lowest are literally confined to a career of sweeping up shit and the holiest are clean and in communion with the divine.

Additionally, physical activity tires us out. It can become a truth serum in some instances. It makes us more grateful for the things that we take for granted like a simple breeze or a rest on a bench. The toll taken on your body and mind becomes so intense that you feel genuine love and gratitude to the person who soothes and eases it, even if they were the one who was doing it to you in the first place. It creates a bond.

Given the fact that their are vultures afoot who could very easily rip what I’ve written out of context and use it against a lifestyle and activity I support I am going to reframe this even though it may be redundant. It is this process that is a vital component to most forms of therapy, healing, and structure such as the military or voluntary mental health inpatient programs. When admitted, you essentially sign away your identity. You are no longer given a choice in your physical appearance from your clothing to your hair. You surrender your choice in when you wake up, when you go to sleep, and when you have free time for activities. Your meals are given in a limited time window and you eat what you are served. As you work with the program and succeed in it, you are granted privileges that set you aside from other people in the program. What was once a “right” in the outside world is now a mark of distinction in your closed society. The very people who took it all away from you are the kind and generous ones who dole it out slowly.

This isn’t Stockholm Syndrome, it’s the basis for why Stockholm Syndrome can occur when taken to a non-consensual and violent extreme. It is recognized as positive when someone consents to the program because they desire its outcome. I am so fascinated by the fact that we applaud and support this exact same process in some many parts of mainstream society and then immediately condemn it when it is a sexual context. If you don’t like the conditions of the program, don’t sign up for them. If you get there and it feels really negative, then get yourself out.

As per usual, I’ve been overly verbose. Allow me to summarize:

If you want to be the Karate Kid, Mr. Miyagi is going to make you “wax on, wax off.” If you want to be a better slave, Mr. Mogul is going to make you carry rocks while naked.

It’s funny how the website has changed so much over the years. Even I have a bit of a time warp moment when I think about it. My favorite shoot is actually the pilot filmed on June 23, 2006 with Bobbi Starr. The difference between that first shoot and how it has grown is so extraordinary. What is obscene is not always pornographic, what is lifestyle is not always going to transfer to the camera.

It is also interesting how a model’s commitment to the design and the fantasy seriously alters a shoot’s overall impact. I find this to be a question of surrender. When a model has a willing suspension of disbelief and lets everything wash over her in true pursuit of the philosophy the drives BDSM I am infinitely more aroused. However, not everyone cares about the philosophy and maybe there isn’t one at all. Maybe we’re all just overwhelmed by the privileges bestowed onto us. I am blessed to be able to eroticize any of this. So are you. For some, there is no consent, no safeword, no way out.

Maybe we’re just bored.

I must also concede that I am not a typical porn consumer. I know too much about how it is made. The images of the fucking don’t have the same impact as the journey. I am not a better porn consumer and god knows I do not have my finger on the pulse of America. I don’t even think I’m a very reliable source for any of this. Watching porn with me must be utterly maddening. I’m more interested in the long shots, the cuts, the angles, and pulling out the process. I watch porn the way I read Moby Dick and you may find it odd but I get the same pleasure. I genuinely enjoy untangling knots and breaking rocks in my head.

I think it’s incredible that there is porn that I can watch that allows me to follow along, to insert myself into the scenarios, to try to answer the questions that are asked, and to strive to learn the lessons vicariously.

Maybe someday I’ll be up there on that screen breaking a real rock on camera instead of a metaphorical one inside my head. Maybe this is why I’m the worst possible candidate for it.