Roger Ebert’s Porn Reviews

I love Roger Ebert. I love the way he is interacting with the web through twitter and his blog. His reviews have always been intelligent, but many people might be surprised that he reviewed porn during its golden age on the big screen.

But not me. Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is absolutely one of my favorite movies, ever. As you know I’m already a big fan of the 50s-60s sexploitation genre. I collect all kinds of strange cult cinema and some of my flicks even date back to the 30s. No one can do that type of kooky-strange the same way. Roger Ebert wrote the screenplay for this film that has sex, drugs, queers, rock n’ roll, and awesome one-liners. Russ Meyer directed it! This is the man who gave us Faster, Pussycat! Kill, Kill!

By “porn”, the author meant X rated films before the MPAA had the same system it has today for ratings. These were mostly sexploitation flicks (with a few exceptions) but they did have lots of skin and simulated sex and as they moved closer to our more standard idea of porn, Ebert felt more and more let down by what he saw. Gone were the crazy and imaginative plots and gone was the strong focus on comedic humor that he adored. He was also the same scathingly brilliant writer he is today and boy am I glad I’ve never incited his ire:

“Camille 2000” (1969)

Well, Daniele Gaubert is presented in the nude all right, but with about as much erotic effect as an Arid ad. She has a lot of love scenes with Nino Castelnuovo. The way they make love is interesting. Their key technique is to assume the conventional configuration and then . . . not move! Mostly, they’re looking at themselves in the mirrors. There are mirrors all over her bedroom. No matter where they look, they see themselves in the mirror. Danielle and Nino aren’t too bright, I guess. They’re just about to start making love when their eyes wander, and they get interested in that beautiful couple up on the ceiling. I kept wanting to shout: “That’s YOU, dummy!”

[Images totally jacked from GavCrimson]