50 Things I’ve Been Meaning To Say About Sex

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        1. There is no easy set of steps for giving or receiving pleasure.
        2. There is no finish line.
        3. Your triumphs and your traumas will impact your sexuality.
        4. Sex itself can be a source of triumph and trauma.
        5. Hydration really does make a difference.
        6. There will be plot twists.
        7. Your sexual preferences may not match your needs or opportunities for pleasure.
        8. Sometimes the most skillful application of touch won’t do what a single caress or glance from someone you are centered upon can do.
        9. It’s more than active or passive. You can be actively-passive and passively-active in sex.
        10. You may summon something you weren’t prepared to receive.
        11. You will experience cognitive dissonance.
        12. You are more beautiful than you know.
        13. You are not entitled to your partner’s sexual backstory. It’s their choice to share.
        14. It’s fucked up to make someone feel bad about their body and how it works.
        15. Take time to breathe.
        16. Sometimes you will be terrified.
        17. Humans have sex for reasons that include but are not limited to pleasure or procreation.
        18. Be prepared for fluids.
        19. You will shed many sexual skins over your lifetime.
        20. Blood sugar really makes a difference.
        21. Using sex as a weapon is when you unilaterally commandeer someone’s body for your use, not when you are soliciting sexual attraction.
        22. Feeling fascinated or attracted to someone does not entitle you to their time and attention.
        23. Things may not meet expectations.
        24. Orgasms are just one piece.
        25. No one else is an authority on your sexuality.blackandwhite
        26. Sometimes you will be confused.
        27. Sometimes you will find ecstasy in the orgiastic, sometimes in the ascetic.
        28. The power of sex to hurt and to heal demands our respect.
        29. Sex is more than what we will ever say about it.
        30. There is no default state of sexual consciousness.
        31. You will find times when words will utterly fail you.
        32. What your body does may not be congruous with your desire.
        33. Context is key.
        34. Sex can be both a source of empowerment and dis-empowerment.
        35. The experience of another may offer wisdom or perspective but it might not be applicable to your life.
        36. An orgasm does not always mean pleasure.
        37. You may run into people who treat you as an inferior version of their projection of you.
        38. There are many different motivations to have sex.
        39. Implemental sex is neither greater nor lesser than non-implemental sex.
        40. The hottest thing in the world might not turn you on anymore.
        41. The value placed upon any given sex act or object is relational rather than intrinsic.
        42. Random causes should not be confused with essential facts.
        43. Your props of sexual summoning will change over time.
        44. Sexual union on non-physical planes exists.
        45. No element of sex is compulsory.
        46. Consciously changing your breathing patterns will change your experience of sex.
        47. Sex can be an instrument of knowing.
        48. Sexual definitions will fail to contain their referents.
        49. There’s really no such thing as an expert on sex.
        50. I don’t endorse everything I’ve said or thought about sex, not even this list.

7 Comments

Filed under sexuality

7 responses to “50 Things I’ve Been Meaning To Say About Sex

  1. Eljorn

    Welcome back!

  2. Pazbooa

    This is a truly wonderful post …. #44 is really misunderstood by so many ….

    One very old truism might deserve inclusion in the next 50 … “When you’re hot you’re hot and when you’re not, you’re not”. Simple but true.

    Thanks for your continued explorations …..

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  4. Pingback: 50 Things I’ve Been Meaning To Say About Sex | Sex Worker Blogs

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