Interesting narrative: It begins as a class fantasy because class porn is a staple of advertising. She has giant windows, she looks out. Is she a voyeur or an exhibitionist? Both? We watch her but she seems to know that. She recites John Stuart Mill’s “On Liberty.” This was an essay written about moral and economic freedom from the state. She drops ice into a glass on top of a sexy and well arranged cocktail cart with artfully displayed bottles of 901 Tequila. That’s all you’ll find in this house, nothing else will do. The pantry is probably full of 901 Tequila. She’s got a mind like a steel trap and a freezer full of perfectly cubed ice that never has chips or tiny pieces of frozen broccoli that somehow fell in, but fuck it, why bother to fish it out?
She is standing before a crowd of seated men while erotic closeups play on a slide machine. Retro technology is chic. You can hear the archaic but still recognizable sound of the slide carousel click in the background. That’s dedication to detail. Then we notice that the men are in fact bound, gagged, and obviously unnerved by the situation as the speech climaxes on the note of accountability. Smack, smack!- says the riding crop! 901 Tequila!
My only real complaint about this comercial is that it’s about tequila and not whiskey. Yeah, it’s skinny sexy lady softcore porn. Booze commercials are pretty much always about sex. Drink this, fuck that. There have been some bad gender politics in booze commercials so this advertisement is on the forefront of a new day in booze commercials in which women drunkenly kidnap men and make them watch their slide shows. I do think that her outfit is smoking hot and I wish I had one just like it even if I just wore it for blogging. I also empathize with the agave sipping heroine of this short erotic story sponsored by 901 Tequila.
I’ve seen suits like those on men who have stolen years of my life with their inane power point presentations. Those were afternoons when there were birds chirping and life happening just outside the office while I was forced to stare at a Dilbert cartoon they included “to lighten the business mood.” I will never get those hours back. The suits stole them.
So there’s that’s the fantasy for me: now you’re going to sit through my slideshow fellas and no
tequila whiskey for you. I’m not even going to hit you with this riding crop, I’m going to use it as a pointer for my slide on Feminist Dada cave paintings. Why? Because I’m drunk. All we have here is perfect ice,whiskey, a slide projector, and this beautiful view of downtown. Here’s a slide of the view since you’re completely immobilized and can’t actually enjoy it right now. I should have another drink, I have to keep on drinking. They’re my sponsors. They pay for all of this and the artisan ice sculptors. Next slide. This is a pie chart of all the reasons I hate Cosmopolitan magazine.
This isn’t something I would want to act out in real life, of course.
Nerve pointed out that the ad plays with John Stuart Mill’s “On Liberty.” That makes it intellectual, drinking is a vice and the text of “Liberty” advocated moral and economic freedom from the state. There’s some interesting gender commentary going on with the tone and intent of the piece and it establishes the dry humor of the sensual confrontation.
A companion advertisement to this one has been terribly mislabeled, “Let Them Eat Cake.”
This sexy speech was actually written by Benjamin Franklin. Apparently it’s there’s a theme about the gendered language of independence writing. A sexy woman dresses in sexier clothes while reciting a deeply cynical excoriation of the British Empire and its taxes on its colonists in the prelude to the American Revolution. Then a man takes a sip of 901 Tequila. Then she takes off the necklace she just put on, the man removes her clothing, and it is implied that he is performing oral sex on her.
This is a commercial about those times when you’re drunk and horny but grasping onto that last shred of sobriety by trying to appear much less drunk than you actually are and what’s more you know it. You’re not slurring, you’re not stumbling, and for all intents and purposes you sound sober but the words leaving your mouth just don’t make one lick of sense. 901 Tequila: Smooth Drunk.
Both videos brought to you by Justin Timberlake.